Postpartum Depression

Sometimes things happen you wish you could control but can't. The moment I had her I knew I was going to have some baby blues/postpartum depression problem. I asked my doctor before I had Ella if my chances of having it increased because of dealing with depression before, and she told me repeatedly that I wouldn't. I was happy about that. After 4 months of trying to handle it myself, I couldn't. I felt angry and defeated because I couldn't control my body. I knew i had to take control again and I would do anything. I felt so guilty for not being a good mom and being sad and unhappy. I started taking medicine and finally I started to feel like myself again. My postpartum was a lot of not being comfortable in my body. The stretch marks, 40 pound weight gain, not being able to breast feed. I really thought the world was crashing down on me. Finally 5 months after having her and 2 months on medication I am back to myself again! I have been exercising and eating right, I've almost lose 20 pounds! I am a work in progress, but I won't give up! To anyone feeling guilty, don't! You can't control how your body works, especially after you have a baby. Things do get better, I promise!