Valentine's Day Favorites

I have always love all holidays, but Valentine's Day isn't one of my favorites. That wasn't until I had Ella, now I look forward to a anything and everything! Chad and I don't really celebrate, we just spend the evening today and have a nice dinner at home. This year I am so excited to get Ella some new goodies! She has started using her hand more, so I wanted to get her some cookies and a book!

Outfit / Book / Cookies / Envelope Chair Backer

Being a Stay At Home Mom

Thank's to some ladies on Facebook, they gave me this awesome topic to talk about! I remember the moment that Chad said I would be able to be a SAHM, it was actually over a text message! He had taken another job at work, got a pay raise, and said I would be able to stay home. I have always wanted to stay home with my children for many reasons. I love the fact that I will be able to see all of her firsts and be there when she needs me. My mom wasn't able to stay home with us growing up, but she did take one day off during the working week. I remember every Wednesday how excited I was because I was able to be home with my mom and she was just as excited to be home with us. When we first brought Ella home I was very blessed to be able to have Chad take two weeks off work to be home with me. Ella was born via c-section and I was in so much pain, luckily he was there to help me out. I had always thought that being a SAHM would be rainbows, unicorns, and butterflies, boy was I wrong! The first week she was home was by far the hardest week of my life. I wasn't used to being up every couple of hours, trying to heal from surgery, changing diapers, trying to breast feed, and changing her cloths constantly. It was like this never ending cycle I really thought would never end. Once Chad went back to work it was really a struggle for me mentally, physically, and emotionally. I felt so guilty because I had want to be a mom as long as I can remember and then I was so stressed out by having a child. A couple weeks later it did start to get easier though. I had seen blogs from Pinterest that showed these moms being "Super Moms." They would have their hair done, freshly painted nail, Starbucks, dressed cute, and most importantly being the best mom they could be. Now THAT is what I wanted to be. I wanted to come off like I had it all together, when I actually didn't. I am really the best mom I can be. I am lucky if I get out of my sweatpants, put on a bra, or actually get a shower in when Chad is at work. I am lucky if I get the dishes clean or get the house vacuumed. But I would take looking this way over being something I am not. I remember the first time she laughed and the first time she smiled, not every mom can experience that. Ella and I have a blast at home she doesn't know I am in sweats and need to brush my teeth. No one is harder on me than myself, I have always wanted to be a perfect mom. Once we got home, I realized I am not a perfect mom nor am I ever going to be the perfect mom. Now that Ella is 5 months old it has gotten a lot better. We are working on a schedule, which is going great, playing more and doing activities, and watching Mickey Mouse of course. A lot of the time things don't happen like you want them to or even plan them too but who cares! Being at home with Ella is the most stressful yet rewarding job I could ever do. I don't get a check every week but I do get a beautiful child who gives me the biggest smile every morning when I get her out of bed. I am so incredibly lucky and blessed to be able to stay at home with her, I love every minute of it.

Ella's Valentines Day Pictures

I was so incredibly excited when Chad got me a new DSLR camera for Christmas! I love to take pictures, especially of Ella so a camera was the perfect present. I don't claim to be a photographer nor have I ever. I am sill learning and trying to get better at it. But I just wanted to share some of the pictures I had taken! 

Couponing

I have decided I want to start couponing. Not on random things, but on the things we actually need. Toilet paper, diapers, wipes, formula, paper towels, ect. But I have NO clue where to start. Being that we are on one income and I stay at home we need to save as much money a a possible. I have looked in the paper, online, and on Pinterest which has helped a lot. I a lot of things we buy are Kroger brand because Chad works for the company we get an extra percentage off of the items. But if we can save more money on the name brands, I will do so. I am just having a hard time starting. If anyone could help me or give me any tips that would be awesome! 

Ella's Birth Story

September 4, the day our lives changed forever. The night before I told Chad I wanted to go and get my favorite dinner since who knows when we would be going out to dinner. We went to dinner and then headed to my moms - thanks to her we got these awesome pictures! Once we were home and in bed for the night I was so nervous, the most nervous I had ever been. That night I couldn't sleep, I woke up every hour checking my phone to see if I was any closer to meeting our sweet angel. I think I checked and rechecked our bags 500 times. I finally got some rest when I heard the alarm go off at 6am. Chad and I looked at each other with this "are you ready to do this" face. My doctor told us we needed to be at the hospital at 8am and to make sure I get some breakfast before we headed to the hospital.Chad loaded up the car and we headed to McDonalds, I wanted one last sweet tea! On the way to the hospital Chad and I really didn't talk much. As we got closer and closer I started to get butterflies and anxious. We showed up at the hospital a little early and got all checked in. As we were walking back to our room there was an older couple walking by who and this woman gave me the biggest smile. We got settled in our room and my nurse gave me the sexy hospital gown to put on. By 8:30 I was in the bed, hooked up to Pitocin, and had seen my doctor already. The next few hours were boring and not very eventful. I knew labor could be a long process but I didn't realize how long it would actually be. I knew before I had Ella that I wanted to get an epidural but I also wanted to labor as long as possible without it. I was proud of myself when I made it to 5cm before asking for the epidural - I was only 1cm before I went in. I had the best nurse I could have asked for, she was so great! She helped me on the medicine ball and got me heating pads for my back. After I had my epidural I was on cloud 9, until it started to wear off.  I had to have it done 3 times and while I was in labor I pressed the button 7. I had a hot spot and back labor as well. I had heard about hot spots and back labor before but I had no idea how awful it would actually be. We knew Ella was going to be a bigger baby, that was the main reason I was induced. She was laying face up and that why my back labor was so bad. We did everything to try to get her to turn but she wanted nothing to do with it. When I would lay from side to side to try to get her to flip her heart rate would sky rocket and I would get the worst contractions. I made it to 7 before I stopped progressing. Her head was too big for the birth canal, she was stuck. The nurse had came in a couple hours before and had let me know there was a chance Ella would be born via c-section. A couple hours later when I was still 7, they called my doctor and they made the decision it would be best I would have a c-section. At that point I didn't care how she was born, as long as she was healthy that's all that mattered.They started prepping me for surgery and getting the room ready. I was so nervous and excited, but most of all ready to meet my baby. I had dreamed of this moment for the past 9 months! Of course my mom was there to capture the moments right before I went back. I am not drugged AT ALL! 

So there I am, laying on the table thinking about everything that is about to happen. I remember telling my doctor and nurses how bad I wanted a Red Robin cheeseburger and a pineapple and Malibu as soon as she was out! I also became good friends with my anesthesiologist, I mean I did see him multiple times before surgery. They had the radio on, which made me feel better. They were playing Justin Timberlake "Mirrors" so of course being the 90's child I am, we started talking about Nsync. I started quoting the Water Boy at some point in time too. Once Chad walked in everything became real, I was so nervous and excited. I didn't want to look at him because I didn't want him to see all the emotions in my eyes. I was scared, I was about to be a mom. Chad is sitting there holding my hand and getting the camera ready, my doctor says "dad are you ready?" They pull Ella out and she cried the sweetest cry I could ever imagine. Tears started streaming from my face, my baby was here, I am a mom. Chad was sitting by me and I told him to go see her, go take her pictures! Of course I asked how big she was and I couldn't wait to lay my eyes on her. They were getting her cleaned up and Chad brings me my phone so I can see her. Once I was back on my bed I FINALLY got to hold her. Her eyes met mine and it was the most surreal feeling in the world. It was just her and I, we had this beautiful bond, I never wanted to let her go. 

Chad being the proud dad that he is, wanted to go show everyone his baby girl! It was about 45 minutes before everyone came in, I wanted our family time. We spent the day couple of days bonding before we came home and every part of it was beautiful. We welcomed many visitors  family and friends, you could see Ella was so loved. She is was the 7th grandchild on Chad's side, 1st grandchild and GREAT grandchild on my side. 

Ella Jo Ralston

September 4, 2013

8 lbs 2 oz

20" long

8:33pm

Mackenzie, Chad, & Ella 

Postpartum Depression

Sometimes things happen you wish you could control but can't. The moment I had her I knew I was going to have some baby blues/postpartum depression problem. I asked my doctor before I had Ella if my chances of having it increased because of dealing with depression before, and she told me repeatedly that I wouldn't. I was happy about that. After 4 months of trying to handle it myself, I couldn't. I felt angry and defeated because I couldn't control my body. I knew i had to take control again and I would do anything. I felt so guilty for not being a good mom and being sad and unhappy. I started taking medicine and finally I started to feel like myself again. My postpartum was a lot of not being comfortable in my body. The stretch marks, 40 pound weight gain, not being able to breast feed. I really thought the world was crashing down on me. Finally 5 months after having her and 2 months on medication I am back to myself again! I have been exercising and eating right, I've almost lose 20 pounds! I am a work in progress, but I won't give up! To anyone feeling guilty, don't! You can't control how your body works, especially after you have a baby. Things do get better, I promise! 

Hello There!

Well here it is, my first blog post! I have wanted to start a blog for as long as I can remember. I love being able to connect with people and share ideas and thoughts. This blog is going to be about everything happening in my life. My husband, daughter, home, home projects, couponing, cleaning, photography, name it and I can write about it. I love to write and read so I think this will be perfect, like an online journal! I hope everyone has a great day!